Posts

Posted on

The Big But

“I did something good: I made Juneteenth very famous…It’s actually an important event, an important time. But nobody had ever heard of it.” ~ Donald Trump

“Thanks so much, Donald” is not a sentence that easily spoken for me, but I mean it. I have always considered myself a smart enough guy. But I had never heard of Juneteenth until the furor over Trump’s campaign rally in Tulsa tomorrow. And I didn’t know about the 1921 Tulsa massacre either. Well not entirely true… I heard about in the HBO series, Watchmen. But that was a story, right? A comic book?

These events should be something I’d remember from history books, so I can only assume it wasn’t taught. I haven’t seen or heard about any documentaries. They haven’t been covered on the news until the past two weeks. No Jeopardy questions. Nothing.

Over the past few days I’ve done some research.

Damn… I’m embarrassed.

I’ve realized another embarrassment in the past few days… there are very few black people in my life. But I’m not really sure “embarrassment” is the right word… I don’t know.

Cue my excuses…

I didn’t know any black people growing up in the the late 60’s and early 70’s in the Parkwood section of “lily-white” Northeast Philadelphia. Yeah, that was a term in the those days (probably still used by some). There were no black kids – or teachers – in my Catholic grade school, and maybe a couple in high school. I met some great black people in trade school, hanging out everyday for a very enjoyable year. We didn’t keep in touch, though. And I met many black people in my business travels across the country, but none I consider friends. Wait! My neighbors are black, two doors away! Emmet and his family… but I don’t know all their names.

As I re-read that last paragraph, I am overwhelmed with more embarrassment, sadness and the innate sense of political correctness I felt I had to ignore to see some truth.

The fact is that after sixty years on this earth, the few black people I know are acquaintances, at best. If you are one of those acquaintances… I love you.

I have white privilege. So does everyone in my family, because they are white. And so do my friends, because they are white. If we don’t realize that, we should.

I never understood it, and if I’m being truthful I must say that still really don’t get it. Not fully. The current situation in my country has forced me to reevaluate a lot of things. Not just my beliefs, but also what I am really willing to accept about myself.

Part of my current re-evaluation stems from a statement I’ve heard many times over the past two weeks, from some of my privileged brethren: “I understand and agree with the protesting, but I don’t understand why they have to destroy property.”

This statement has been made over and over on social media, and answered with heated debate. I will state unequivocally that rioting and looting has no place in this world, but it has been wrongly associated with the scores of people committed to peaceful protesting. But the key part of the sentence is this – “I don’t understand”.

I don’t understand what it means to be black person in America, and I never will.

Never.

There is not a white person on the planet who can say they do.

Not a one.

If you are looking for answers from me, I have none. I have questions. I have observations.

And I have fear.

I have fear because we’ve been down this road before and Americans quickly forget. Rodney King was a wake-up call in 1991, right? George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery are the big topics today. How about six months from now?

The Baltimore riots in 2015 were supposed to be the last straw… be honest, do you remember the name of the young man killed in the back of that police van?

How long before the murder of Rayshard Brooks is forgotten? Just a reminder to those turning blind eyes… it just happened, a week ago in Atlanta.

Here’s the deal for me: I’m committed to getting better. I’m listening. I’m learning.

This morning I went into the kitchen, and I picked a lighter color banana versus a darker one. I believe this is the only example of when it is okay not to like something because of the color of its skin. A simple belief, but one that has my commitment.

I’m also committed to saying that Black Lives Matter. And I’m not going to diminish that effort by immediately adding “but all lives matter”.

I firmly believe that statues of civil war generals and politicians should be taken down. And rename the bases, too. And burn Confederate flags. And lose Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima while your at it. If that gets your nose out of joint, do better. Bad figures in history should literally NOT be put on a pedestal. You’re not erasing history, if you can still read a friggin’ book.

I stand firmly behind Colin Kaepernick and anyone else peacefully protesting. I didn’t always feel that way, but I’m listening and learning. Despite what we are being told by some who are trumpeting a derisive agenda, they aren’t desecrating the flag or the anthem. They are standing up for the oppressed. It’s very American… you should try it.

I place my hand over my heart, and stand and sing during our national anthem. And I will applaud anyone who decides to make a peaceful statement.

Because in every instance, justice is more important than patriotism.

I wrote this piece in June 2020, then got sidetracked and never published it. Still resonates with me… As with anything I write, I welcome your comments and spirited, respectful debate. 

Posted on

Coronavirus: Six Feet Away From Ordinary

“And each man stands with his face in the light. Of his own drawn sword, ready to do what a hero can.” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning‬

Self isolation meets unemployment… it has been frustrating! Yeah, job search has grinded to a halt, with the opportunities I’ve interviewed for on hold for near future. But with everything going on this world, I’m trying not dwell on my issues so much.

So I’ve been working on my side business to keep busy and make a little extra scratch. If you know a small business that needs some marketing help (see the cool Corona-like graphic and my clever play on their tagline), hit me up!

I’ve been catching up on some reading, trying to make a dent in the book queue on my iPad. Like everyone, I’ve been doing some binge-watching… so many good choices in this golden age of television! And I’ve been cooking dinner most nights, and no one has gotten ill.

Well, not yet.

The most satisfying thing about this life pause is that I’ve been writing – the oft-referenced and well hidden novel has been resurrected! Hoping to use this opportunity to be more consistent about that project, and writing overall.

Thus, the following random thoughts about our new normal, some blurbiage rattling around my dome.

COVID-19 PPE

Hoarding Jackass – Last week, clad in my most fashionable personal protective equipment, I made a quick run to my local Walmart. I kept track of my social distancing throughout the store – with only a few nods and one elbow bump – and respectfully observed the six-foot spaced stickers on the floor in the checkout line.

The “gentleman” in front of me was having none of that. He was pulling his cart (full of paper towels BTW), removing items from the front and placing them on the conveyor. While I was at a safe distance, he was standing inches away from the customer first in line. The cashier politely asked him to move back, and he declined with some harsh words. Then he looked back at me and mouthed, “What the fuck”, rolling his eyes. I formulated a few clever responses, but decided to avert my eyes left to access my Jack Links Beef Jerky flavor options.

Yeah, dude. What the fuck.

As I was checking out, the nice Walmart cashier said, “I’m sorry about that. We have to encourage people to stay apart when they are in line.” I responded, “Please don’t apologize to me. Some people just don’t get it.”

That may be the understatement of the century.

All I Wanna Do Is Zoom-A-Zoom Zoom Zoom – Damn! Wish I bought some Zoom stock a few months ago. That is all… LOL!

In the last month, Zoom has emerged as one of the leading tools to keep businesses up and running and have provided K-12 schools videoconferencing capabilities for free. And equally as vital, millions of people are keeping in touch with family and friends using this platform.

My Friday night Zoom call with my friends has become one of the highlights of my week, despite having to login every 40 minutes and our continued reliance on 30 year old jokes.

There’s also FaceTime, Facebook Messenger, and others. A much needed oasis in this dry desert… Do it!

The Distance, You Must – Yeah, I wanted to sound wise so I went with Yoda to state how shocked I am every day by the recklessness I see – in stores, playgrounds, or looking out my front door.

I picked up a pizza two weeks ago at a local shop that I love and have been patronizing for decades. I walked into very hot room with about twenty people close together flipping pizzas, working the grill and deep fryer, and the registers. Zero social distancing – so I’ll be skipping that shop for a few months… sad to say.

As I was driving home that same night, I saw teenagers hanging out in groups. Close together. Young couples holding hands. Boys rough-housing.

Jeez…

And this week I drove by a playground, with at least four families of kids running around, interacting, depositing germs and maybe a virus or two on the swings and slides. A few days later, I was thankful to see the city playgrounds padlocked.

What are these parents thinking? Are they thinking at all? YOU HAVE ONE JOB!

But to be clear, I’m not casting a huge net over all restaurants attempting to survive during this crisis. And when all of this is over, I will gleefully support these and other small businesses. While so many people are trying to help by patronizing when we can, they have a responsibility to us as well.

As do our neighbors. Putting it bluntly… while I don’t want any harm to come to you or your kids, I care about MY FAMILY. Stay the fuck home.

To me, it’s simple. When we look back on these weeks and months, some of us will remember the inconvenience and loss of income. And many of us will remember being sick. But most of us will remember death. The loss of neighbors, business associates, favorite musicians or actors, and friends and family.

More bluntness… sorry.

Welcome To A Crazy World – So if you haven’t stop reading, I’m not all gloom and doom today! My second grandchild was born two and a half weeks ago (more on him in a future blog post).

I am so happy he was delivered safe and healthy, and quickly discharged from the hospital in about 24 hours. I’m also very happy that my son and daughter-in-law are staying at home, and keeping both of their kids safely isolated.

Big sister Cecilia and little brother Eliot… the loves of my life.

For now, grandparents are allowed to visit sparingly and help, and that keeps me going. Puts a smile on my face. But while he is probably trending on social media, there are dozens of Aunts, Uncles, cousins and friends who want see him face-to-face, to hug him and to kiss him. To love him, and welcome him to our world.

And what a world it is.

As I was chatting with the previously mentioned cashier, she asked, “Did you ever think you would see something like this in your lifetime?”

Thoughts flashed through my head… about my wife’s grandmother talking about living during the depression. And my Mom telling me about hiding under tables when the Germans were bombing Belfast when she as a teenager. Then I thought about myself landing at the Atlanta airport when the first plane hit the World Trade Center on 9/11.

But this simple reply was all I could muster… “Nope. Nothing like this.”

‪Heroes, Forever and Ever – I posted some of this earlier in the week on social media, but I want to expand my thoughts.

‪I’ve always thought the word “hero” was over used, an honor sometimes too easily bestowed upon celebrities, athletes, or other people just doing the right thing. It is an exceptional word, and should be used to describe exceptional people.

My close friend is a C-level administrator at a Philadelphia area hospital. He has been working crazy hours and days to prepare for the tidal wave that is coming. When he comes home, he self-distances from his wife and family.

My wife works in surgeon’s office within a hospital, and she and her co-workers interact every day with other staff. They maintain social distancing and are safe. I’ve always said goodbye to her in the morning, but now I add “Be careful, be safe.”

It drives me nuts some days, trying to calculate the degrees of separation they both have from this virus. Wait… has anyone checked on Kevin Bacon?!

After those calculations, I am left with simple thoughts: He is my hero. She is my hero. They are my heroes.

I take some comfort that my wife and friend are not on the front lines, but I know dozens of doctors, nurses, orderlies, and first responders who are. So many are rising to that lofty level that I previously thought was, and should be, difficult to attain.

According to the scientists and the predictive models, they will be facing a storm. Some are already in it.

Because they must. Because they do. Because they are heroes.‬

‪To everyone on the front lines…

As with anything I write, I welcome your comments and spirited, respectful debate. And I wish you all safe passage in our new normal!

Posted on

Ain’t Life Grand

“A baby has a way of making a man out of his father and a boy out of his grandfather.” ~ Angie Papadakis

So, I’m a grandparent. More specifically, I have a granddaughter.

I’ve spent hundreds of hours talking about Cecilia with anyone who will listen… to anyone within earshot. And I’ve shared thousands of photos and videos of her via text and social media.

Cecilia has graced my world for a little over 18 months, and they have been the happiest of my life.

My first selfie ever!!

My friend warned me. He had a two-year head start being grand, so I leaned on this more experienced chap for some insight. I asked him, “What’s the biggest change in your life since you became a grandfather?” His matter-of-fact reply was, “Your Facebook page changes completely.”

I know now he held back some critical information that day, and I am forever grateful. He allowed me to go in cold, to realize the changes in my life – the awe and wonder, the laughter and tears, and the joy she would bring me.

Soon after my son got married, I had this very vivid dream about him. I was sitting in a hospital waiting room surrounded by family, when he bursts in the room and announces, “Mom and baby are fine. It’s a….” The dream abruptly ends without letting me know the most critical plot point. I had the dream again, quite a few times leading up to the due date. So I was ready, phone in hand to video when he came into waiting room and finished the sentence. “… GIRL!”

I’ll admit to shedding a bunch of tears that night. But being a sophisticated man-of-the-world, I was fully prepared to settle back into my life with little change.

I’ve never been so wrong about anything in my life.

I’ve written many times about my parents, and about being a Father. I’ve always seen my Mom and Dad in a very specific light. When I was a kid, my parents were the smartest people in the world. They had all the answers to all the questions.

But both went into parenthood cold. Mom’s parents were in Ireland, and my impression of my Philly Grandmother was that she was a lovely woman. but not the nurturing kind. So my parents were essentially left to their own devices, along with a bunch of advice-sharing between siblings and friends in the same situation.

A few years after I became a Dad, I realized two things: My parents were not the smartest people in the world, but they loved me and my sisters and did the best they could. And I also knew they would always be there for me when I needed them.

Lesson learned, and always remembered.

Mom and Dad’s generation had word-of-mouth parenting help. My generation had the bible – “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” – and the sequels. My wife dove deep and (TBH) I used it as a reference. And while we were very lucky to have both sets of grandparents nearby, they were very smart to let us figure most of it out ourselves.

I was always so surprised at this distance they maintained, but I chalked it up to their joy in just being grandparents. Also, I will never discount my Mom and Dad may have been tired from raising me!

But now that I’m embracing being so so grandiose, I realize that a small part of their happiness was seeing that they did a good job with their kids, giving them the tools they needed to be safe and successful. I look around at my sisters, in-laws, cousins and friends… and other great parents with great kids. And the connected grand folks of that last grand generation have that one grand thing now in common – joy.

What a grand word… Joy!

That joy will be doubled – at least – when grand-kid number two arrives this March. I can’t imagine, and I am planning to install a network server to store all the pics and videos.

We spend as much time as possible with our grand girl. I’ve become a glutton for selfies, my first ever taken the day she was born. I take pics of her fingers and toes, eyes and ears. I get down on the floor to make blanket tents, and kick balls to help her prepare for the illustrious soccer career that awaits. I love to watch her navigate my iPhone to find the YouTube app and Baby Shark, and was delighted watching Elvis Costello on Sesame Street with her last week. When she grabs my finger to take me somewhere, I stop mid-sentence and go – sorry less-important-conversation-I-was-having! I’m infatuated by her jibber-jabber, and I try to stress the word “Pop”.

And I melt with every wave, hug and kiss she offers, and I gleefully receive.

My wife and I continue to scheme, cleverly constructing scenarios to see her as much as possible. “Oh, look… Cecilia left her spoon here last night. She definitely needs that so we should stop over!” Fairly obvious, so I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad are on to us. But they are welcoming and appreciative, because they are good parents. And they smart people.

Before the parents on both sides were officially grand, we asked our kids – the parents-to-be – a lot of questions. We discovered that they had answers, more than we had at our same point of the process. Part of the joy for Cecilia’s grandparents is that her Mom and Dad have been so open discussing their hopes, plans and challenges… something not as easy for previous generations. And we listen, learn, discuss, share and realize that they are as prepared as possible. We do interject and sometimes annoy, but we are proud of the adults they have become.

And that is the integral part of the joy – the small part of being grand.

Below is the video of my dreams – “It’s a Girl!” Enjoy!

Posted on

Oil Me Up, You Cheeky Monkey

“A bit of advice… come up with a title for your blog post that is purposely misleading and intended to trick prospective readers into thinking what follows is interesting and vital to their existence.” ~ John Langan, Guru

That noise you hear is the creaking of my rusty knuckles… crying out in pain as I attack my keyboard to produce my first blog post in almost two years.

OH, THE DRAMA!

Yeah, I haven’t been doing much writing. I have a bunch of excuses but no good ones. Work has been keeping me busy, and because much of my daily thoughts are about politics I’ve grown tired of wallowing in negativity and dealing with the unfortunate people that disagree with my unparalleled logic.

I’ve been writing in this space since May of 2013. Looking for some inspiration for this new post, I decided to read some of my old ones. Yes. I look for inspiration from myself – my ego is that meta-human!

This blog has always been something of a diary for me… organizing thoughts that have always been unorganized, and sometimes still crave to be. Reading through this diary did a few things for me, but mostly confirmed that my life is pretty damn good. I’ve got a great family and many great friends. And even though I am sometimes critical of it – I live in a wonderful city and country. Despite some down turns, I’m in a good place.

Some old posts also made me sad, as I remembered my parents and others loved and lost. But I was happy to make myself laugh, cry and appreciate.

I was pleased that I felt comfortable in other posts to address a wide range of subjects – politics, music, sports, marketing, etc. It made me realize that, for me, writing is the sincerest form of expression. So I’m glad to be back at it… hopefully! There are tons of things I’d like to revisit and share my awesome opinions. And my world has changed much in the last two years – new career path, pushing 60, and I’m a grandfather. There is no lack of content to share, so we’ll see what I spew.

So I’ll kick off John J. Langan blog post number 91 – my resurgence – with this tasty bit of “knowledge”:

The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare. 

So Romeo and Juliet walk into a bar…

Posted on

Sneaking Outta Here

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.“ ~ Winnie the Pooh

Its 2:07 in the morning and I’m restless, as I have been for the past week. I have been looking forward to this day with a mix of exhilaration for new adventure, thoughtfulness about things accomplished, and sadness about the faces and personalities I am going to miss. 

I started my working career in June of 1979 with the Penn Emblem Company. I’ve left and returned three times for different reasons over the years, but today is my last day.

For the number crunchers (I had to do it)… I’ve been employed by Penn Emblem for 32.3 years / 981 months, / 11,773 days – in 12 offices, with 9 job titles. Whew! With so much time invested here, my crazy thoughts and emotions are probably not unique. I’m awash in some great and, truthfully, not-so-great memories over 32 years entering this building. But I’m only going to dwell on the positive today.

I’m going to miss so many things… pretzel on Fridays, the meetings (not really), awesome espresso and caramel coffee (free because of me, just sayin’), the many customers and contacts over the years, working trade shows (not really, again), the holiday party, barbecues and all the other events with the great Penn team.

I Took This Photo!

In these years, I have been fortunate to travel extensively for Penn to places around the world. I’ve visited 45 states, and pretty much all of our major cities. I’ve also spent time in crappy little hotels in small towns… all great experiences. Business travel can be tough, so I’ve always made sure to relish the sights and sounds of these great places. I’m smiling now about some of these memories:

  • Enjoying great dinners at Gene & Georgetti‘s in Chicago
  • Listening to the Preservation Hall Jazz Band on Bourbon Street
  • Seeing Tom Jones and George Carlin in Las Vegas
  • Sitting on the steps of the Sydney Opera House
  • Watching the Grand Prix du Montreal
  • Witnessing the power of nature, sitting on the beach at the Banzai Pipeline surf competition
  • Feeling reverent awe, standing on the Arizona Memorial in Pearl Harbor

These places and these experiences happened for me for one reason… Penn Emblem. And I am forever grateful.

The people at Penn Emblem – my friends – have shaped me. While our most important life experiences are spent with family, we spend more waking hours at our jobs. Sad, but true. So the people we work with are vital to our development. Most pass quickly through, with no effect. Some are with you longer, making indelible marks. And some are, and will always be, friends for life.

I can’t thank everyone, but some quick mentions are below. Apologies in advance for some of the quirkiness and inside jokes. No explanation will be forthcoming!

Thanks so much to the ownership of Penn Emblem – the Blumenthal family. From my beginning with Ted and Robert, to the future with Stephen and Tyler. Over the years they have provided a home and security for me and my family. You are many, but special thanks to two:

To Randi, for your passion, for challenging me, for some loud arguments, for about 2.5 million emails (I’m estimating), and for giving me the freedom to grow. In many ways, you are the reason I’m beginning this new journey, and I thank you.

To Jon… for the many cocktails and serious saving-the-company conversations, for the first class upgrades, for many, many golf shots and the one hot dog that put me in the hospital, for many “working” lunches, for your raucous laugh and the joy you exude, and for your guidance and example as one of the best Dads – and Grandfather – I know.

Back to the road… great travels and conversations with Mike,  and my 9/11 partner, Tom. To the real road warriors and “lounge-o-liers”, Keane, David and Bob.

Some of these friends are no longer with us, but certainly deserve mention: To JP, much love from Mantis. To the larger-than-life Burly Mon, my travel buddy. And to Mike, who’s cynicism and indescribable humor inspires me to this day.

Very special thanks to Lynne… we’ve shared some frustrating days like any other job. But your friendship, conversation, laugh, quirkiness, Lynne-isms made my day, every day. You may not know this but I tell everyone… you are the nicest person I have ever known.

And finally, to the Big Four – Rich, Debbie, Janine and Alisa. So many years together, so much laughter, some tears, so many knowing looks and raised eyebrows, and many stories to share (some we probably shouldn’t…). You four were, and will continue to be, my rocks.

Obviously I could list many more Penn peeps. Please know that all of you will forever be in my heart.

I’ve been crying while writing this, and I’m sure I will be doing that all day. My happiness is knowing that it will never be goodbye to any of you. So I’m going to take some sage advice from a very smart friend, and just sneak out at some point this afternoon. I will be counting on many phone calls and texts, lunches and drinks, posts and tweets. I love you all very much.

CMA, and don’t tell skinny.