Tag: Sons of Ben

It was an interesting weekend.

I had a fantastic time at the soccer game yesterday – tailgating and watching a Philly Union win with family and a bunch of friends. There were fireworks too! Today, I spent the afternoon learning… trying to get an inbound marketing certification.

Inbound marketing deals with leads and selling. It has buzzwords like SEO, analytics and other key concepts that helps your information to be found by Google search.

For a personal blog post like this, I don’t worry about search, or keywords, or anything like that. In my very first post – over two years ago – I stated that “I shall write for myself and let the chips fall where they may.” I keep to that…

But I’ll be honest… recognition makes me feel good. Whether it’s a positive or negative comment, or a social media share, or someone just saying that they like what I am doing. Earlier this year I wrote a post about bullying that, for whatever reason, was viewed close to 50,000 times. It was stunning to me, but it taught me that you can never predict what will strike a chord with people.

My previous most viewed post was entitled “Book Covers“… where I wrote about not judging people by their appearances. More specifically, it was about a young woman named Jessie who lost her life while giving birth to her son.

Yesterday I met Cheryl, that young woman’s mother. She works with my wife, and came to the game with another co-worker. I was happy to arrange for them to come to the supporter’s tailgate, and Cheryl was able to meet some of the people who were such a big part of Jessie’s life. I was so glad to hear that they were able to share a couple of beers and some memories.

But the best part of my day was the few minutes of conversation when we met just before the game. She asked me for a hug, and told me that she had read my story about her Jessie.  I was not aware that she knew of the post, or me.

I asked her how long it had been, and she responded quickly, “Nineteen months.” I replied that more time had passed than I thought. She looked me straight in the eye and said, “Not that long at all.” She teared up a little, and so did I. And that was the last word on the subject. A moment shared.

We all had a great time, and lots of laughs. I think she was glad to be at the stadium for the first time, to finally share in an experience so important to her daughter. I told her she must come back because she is good luck for the team! And because it’s probably one of a multitude of things that can bring her closer to Jessie.

I can’t imagine losing a child. Clearly that pain remains after nineteen months, and I’m sure it won’t lessen in nineteen years, or ever. But I think Cheryl has the right idea… Experiencing some of Jessie’s joys will, in small ways, bring her back. And keep her close.

One of my Mother’s favorite sayings was, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” She was trying to teach me that you shouldn’t form an opinion on someone or something based purely on what you see on the surface. Because usually after taking a deeper look, the person or thing will not be what you expected it to be. Well… that didn’t take! Despite her teachings, I had been guilty of exactly that. I’m much better with it now, but there is always room for improvement.

In the past couple of years I’ve changed a great deal. At least I think I so. For many reasons, my world is much more open than before… to new ideas, to different philosophies and beliefs, to people in general. I was very close-minded and opinionated. In some ways I still am, but I am willing to learn. I have met many people, especially in the last year. People who did not cross my path before, but have enriched me so.

All of this relates to a sad story…

I didn’t know Jessie Miele, or her husband Drew. I recognize them from the photos I see now, and I’m pretty sure that I sat next to them at Union match in DC a couple of years ago. I say that I’m pretty sure because there were no introductions, and we didn’t converse that day at all. At that time I jokingly referred to the their crazy looking group as the Tattoo People, and based on their appearance I probably didn’t initiate a conversation. This saddens me greatly.

The reason I know about Jessie and Drew now is hearing about their tragic story. A few weeks ago, Jessie was about to give birth to their first child… a son. There were complications, and Jessie passed away shortly after meeting her baby boy. Devastating, beyond comprehension. A vibrant, young woman was about to have her world changed in the best possible way, only to be silenced. I was relating this story at home, and my wife said it sounded familiar. A woman in work suffered a similar loss recently. It was Jessie’s mother…. a small world.

Jessie and Drew are members of the Sons of Ben and the Corner Creeps, supporter groups of the Philadelphia Union. Those organizations have rallied around their members, collecting some money to help Drew raise their beautiful son. It’s been a tremendous outpouring of love and support, that has expanded to supporters of other teams and throughout the soccer community. The people who have supported this effort have not asked who these people are, but “how can we help?” And those that have given so generously certainly have not judged a book by its cover.

I’m sad that I missed so many opportunities to meet great people throughout my life. I’m sad that I will never meet Jessie. I hope to meet Drew and his son one day, and let him know that his family’s story has touched my hard, stubborn heart.

Going forward, I’m going to remember that everyone I meet – if they have tattoos, piercings, ripped jeans or pink mohawks – is a person that is worth knowing… someone’s child, someone’s parent, or someone’s friend. Maybe my new friend.

If you would like to learn more about Jessie and Drew’s story, or make a donation, please visit the Jessie Miele Fund site.