“Inject a few raisins of conversation into the tasteless dough of existence.” ~ O. Henry
I just spent a weekend talking. Well, not just talking… I listened too! I also smiled and laughed. I asked questions, and answered some. I was communicating, and it was exhilarating.
There has been lots of lamenting about the death of conversation caused by the proliferation of mobile technology, social media and other distractions. I’ve certainly beat that drum while observing a table full of people at a restaurant, heads buried in there iPhones. And truthfully, I’ve sometimes been guilty – see last month’s post. I have wondered about future generations lacking the skills necessary for basic communication, and I hope it isn’t too late to save them. I think that smartphone use proliferated quite rapidly, and etiquette simply didn’t have time to adjust. But all things are cyclical, and a rebound is coming. Conversation will be back in a big way… I know it!
This big talking weekend was a couple of days at the beach with longtime friends. My wife and I have tackled adulthood with Mark and his wife, Christine. Together with our group of friends we have celebrated weddings, welcomed our children and seen them grow, graduate and start families of their own. We’ve also mourned death of friends and family members. This is what good friends share. But like many friends, 
we get together infrequently… and certainly not for chunks of time like this weekend.
The setting was ripe, and distractions were minimal. We spent about nine hours over the two days just sitting on the sand. No one said that we couldn’t look at our phones, we just didn’t that much. We watched a football game on Saturday night, but listened to each other instead of the announcers. Then a movie after, with our running commentary being much funnier than the dialogue in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Danke Schoen, very much…
We touched on some lofty topics, and beat some straight into the ground. We made some serious headway planning our funerals. We discussed the upcoming Papal visit in Philadelphia and the power of Pope Francis’ blessings. (FYI, they go infinitely far out in whatever direction he flings them).
We discussed music, “our” music versus today’s. Their son and recent Drexel grad blinded us with science and migratory patterns of shore birds. We marvelled at the beach restoration project still going on in Sea Isle City, post Hurricane Sandy. We even waxed on politics, trying unsuccessfully to Trump each other. We also discussed the merits of the “everything” bagel (despite the above O. Henry quote), and how to brew the perfect cup of tea… it’s not as easy as you think!
We may have gossipped a little. Yes… it was you we were talking about!
On Sunday morning I got up early – as usual – figuring I would go to the living room and read. Christine had the same idea… I found her enjoying a cup of coffee and her open book. We are both reading the new novel by Harper Lee, but neither of us cracked it open. Instead we discussed that story, her first novel, the characters, etc. That led us to grander topics like racism, and the preference of e-readers to actual paper books. It was a hour of great conversation and coffee… we talked about coffee too!!! Good craic, with a fine Irish lassie.
Needless to say, it was fine weekend… one I hope to repeat with these folks and many others. As much as possible. As a wise philosopher once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” I have many distractions these days, so many balls in the air. More often than not, it’s a good idea to slow down the pace of your world and just talk. And listen. The setting doesn’t matter… just enjoy the company.
This had all the makings of a shitty week.
Critical to the development of our friendship was our mutual discovery of the girls our age blossoming during that summer. It was a magical time…
We also talked about his Mom, who is now experiencing early stages of dementia. Marilyn has been living near Mike in Virginia for years now, and has entered an assisted living community as her condition has grown worse. Growing up, she was like a second Mom to me. She remains someone I admire very much. When we were young, she was very active in the community and city politics. She also worked with mentally challenged adults for many years. Most of all, she was smart and funny, and respected people – including us kids… adult behavior we were not used to in the seventies.
Don’t You (Forget About Me) – On March 8th of this year, a Boeing 777-200ER airplane carrying 239 passengers and crew disappeared without a trace less than an hour after take-off from Kuala Lampur International Airport in Malaysia. Ten months later, investigators still have no clue where the plane could be or what happened. It is stunning that, given the technology we possess, a 209 foot long aircraft weighing over 304,000 pounds cannot be found. More stunning is that the entire incident is gone from our minds. Be honest!! You had completely forgotten until the AirAsia flight did the same disappearing act earlier this week.
Glittering Prize – Speaking of the sad state of sports… CODE BLUE, PHILADELPHIA!! Get the paddles out!! The Phillies are beginning a garage sale, the Flyers are the poster boys for inconsistency, the Sixers are in the dumper, and my Union is starting over for the third time in five years. It’s clear now that hopes for Eagles success is a mirage – Damn you, Chip Kelly for getting our hopes up with your dynamic offense!
But Lucy and Ricky can relax… it’s not exactly the Golden Age of Television revisited. The yin to this yang resides in places like the Bravo network, and with the Kardashians, the Real Housewives franchises and the bottom feeding Honey Boo Boo! It was recently pointed out to me that mindless programs are sometimes needed in this world. After a tough day of work and the minute to minute inundation of information, it may be therapeutic to switch off and watch Bruce Jenner spiralling towards womanhood. And after two minutes of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, I do feel sooooo much better about myself.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day. One year ago, I wrote a post about how celebrations like it can get lost among all of the other “fake” holidays on the calendar. I also noted how much I really like the Father’s Day, and how much more special it was with my Dad after I had children of my own.
When we were growing up, my Dad worked two jobs – mostly to keep us in Catholic school. Throughout our childhood, Mom ran the home and Dad was the silent provider. When I was 15 years old, Dad got me a part time job at the Four Chefs Caterers in Mayfair where he worked that second job. It was great to have that extra connection with him, experiences that only he and I shared. I think I worked there for three years or so. Dad had worked there since I was very young, and a couple of years after I left. Looking back I realize how hard that must have been – working 15 hour days three times a week, and most Sundays. In later years I would often say how I missed some of the traditional Father/Son time. But he did it for his family, he sacrificed for us – without question or hesitation.
When cable TV did come to the Langan house, it awakened Dad’s other love – sports. Especially Philadelphia sports. I knew his morning routine by heart… Wake up to watch SportsCenter, listen to KYW radio while making his breakfast, then switching to Comcast SportsRise while eating. Sundays during the fall were spent at my house watching the Eagles. We would always be recapping the previous night’s Flyers games. And when he came to live at our house last April, we got to enjoy one of the finest seasons of baseball ever played in this town – together. We watched almost every game, and even got down to see one in person. As the regular season ended, Dad had another stroke, followed closely by a third a few days later. He missed the playoff run and the championship we all shared. The Phillies Word Series win was bittersweet for me because I didn’t get to experience it with my Dad.
Social Media For Increased Mental Health
The Experts Speak – The most common question I hear from small businesses interested in social media is, “Where do I start?” Here is some great information from the email marketing site, Constant Contact…