It’s A Mugs Game

Sculpture created by Tsang Cheung Shing - Hong Kong.
Sculpture created by Tsang Cheung Shing – Hong Kong.

“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” ~ Lewis Black

I consider myself to be a nouveau coffee drinker. I’m not sure there is such a classification, but as I’ve only been drinking this sweet elixir for about nine years I think it is appropriate.

Growing up in a house with a Mother and Aunt direct from Ireland made me a tea drinker. (Not a teetotaler… maybe that’s a subject for future blog post?) There are strict rules about making tea. We only used Tetley tea bags, you filled the mug to the very top, and you had to boil the water for a good five minutes after the whistle started wailing. Milk, not cream. Sugar, not honey… or artificial sweetener – GOD FORBID!! Everyone in our house was close friends with a “good cup a’tay”!

Every once in a while my Mom would have a Folger’s Instant coffee. Knowing nothing about coffee even I could see this was nasty, but it was easy to make and smelled good. As I got older, my friends started drinking coffee regularly and I steadfastly remained loyal to my tea. The coffee clouds really started storming around me when I started business travelling. Everyone I met was a coffee freak. People really seemed to be enjoying this experience, and I really liked the aroma of coffee in the morning. I started to think I was missing out on something.

One day I decided, I was going be hip and drink coffee. I set out on this task at a hotel restaurant in some god-forsaken town, and immediately applied all of my vast tea-making experience – milk, and one spoonful of sugar. How hard can this be? This was it! I’m going to be a coffee drinker.

“A vile concoction!! Why the hell do you people drink this poison?!”, I screamed to the world.

But I was not deterred. Over the next few months I asked questions and experimented. I discovered that there were endless variations, brands and preparations. But me being me, I ended up with the simplest of combinations – black with Equal. Or, as we “coffee people” call it – the yellow stuff. And I drink only one cup a day, over a few hours. I get great exercise walking back and forth to the microwave…

I like to say that I’m a simple man, delighting in the small things in life. I will continue to snort derisively at the Starbuck’s snobs ordering “venti, one pump caramel, one pump white mocha, two scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino with two shots poured over the top – apagotto style – with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream, double cupped!” I don’t know what I just typed! I’ll always make fun because I seriously doubt I will ever make coffee drinking that complicated.

But you never know. While in France last year I discovered the wonder of espresso, and now I regularly drink caramel flavored coffee at work.

Yep… I’m a bad ass. Who wants to join this wild man for a Cup of Joe?!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEVTQHiAQRA?rel=0]

Get Acquainted

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“Surround yourself with creative people. Dammit…” ~ Epitaph of John J. Langan  (1960-2060)

In October 2007, when filling out my Facebook profile for the first time, and with my tongue firmly in cheek, I stated that my Political Views were “Conservative, But Willing to Learn”.

I was quite the joker six and half years ago…

I’ve had a bit of a journey since then, especially in the last couple of years. Nothing earth shattering and don’t get me wrong – I’m still the brash, opinionated asshole that my family and friends have come to know and love. But over these years I’ve left my mind open to new ideas that have certainly changed me. Most of the credit goes to my sons, who are more open than I ever was at their ages. It must be a generational thing. And I’ve been shaped by my friends… who are in greater numbers because of social media and a conscious decision to allow time for them.

More friends? That used to be my question. “Why do I need more friends when I don’t have time for the ones I want to see?” What a stupid thing to say…  In the past few years I have discovered such richness and variety of life because I have opened myself to more people. Not everyone can be your close friend, but I no longer place any limits on acquaintances. I’ve been fortunate to have travelled to many places in the world, but lately I’ve been more interested in meeting people and hearing their thoughts. “Where” doesn’t matter, it’s the moment that counts.

Opening yourself to new thoughts can’t help but change you. I’ve altered my thinking on so many things in the past few years… from conservative to liberal (maybe not all the way). Simple things like not keeping score in youth sports so we can teach the fundamentals, to stricter gun control laws, to gay rights, and for god’s sake… Let’s make love, not war! Take care of your fellow man, man…

And there are life lessons… In the past couple of years quite a few people I know have passed on. Some were acquaintances, some slightly more than that, and some were family and friends that I loved very dearly. It happens that we all go through stretches of attending funerals. That’s life, and we have no choice but to accept it. Loss, like any experience, shapes and changes you. And it creates a void that must be filled with new experience. With people!

562187_10150691436993494_214597061_nMy mantra is “Surround yourself with creative people.” Seek them out… lots of them. Interact! For this, quantity beats quality.

I can’t predict how much time I have left on this earth, but I do know that the bulk of my time is behind me. I’m sure my sons are shuddering at the thought of their 104 year-old Dad passing gas in their living room. I still want to travel and experience things and events, but going forward the true richness of life will be with my family and friends. And lots of acquaintances!

And that’s living, my friends…

Go Raibh Maith Agat

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“Go Raibh Maith Agat” is gaelic for Thank You. That’s for you, Mom… 

Just a few of things I’m thankful for today…

2013 has been a good year, thus far. I’m in a nice place in my life right now. Could I be happier? Of course… who would answer “no” to that question? But this year has been full of smiles, laughs, creativity and change. Many people had a big part in that, and I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for the creative people I’ve been fortunate enough to spend time with, and learn from. All of my marketing and social media friends – Chuck Hall, Lynette Young, Rick Toone, Jen April, Pat and Peggie Walsh, and Christina Kristofic. I’ve been amazed by the creativity of authors Dennis Tafoya, Jonathan Maberry and the members of the Philadelphia Liars Club.

My love for soccer has been enriched by the passion and creativity of others… John Whitesall, Mark Jenkinson, Kelly Christine Delaney, Kenny Hanson and Earl Gardner… and all of my fellow Sons of Ben. And I can’t forget PPL Section 110 friends Sean and Allison Malloy, and their son Declan… each match I’m thankful to see the love of the game through a child’s eye.

I’ve spent time with you all this past year, and am happy to count you as friends.

Friends go in and out of your life. I am rich with friends, but there is that close group. I used to say, “I don’t want to make new friends because I don’t have time to see the friends I have as much as I’d like.” Those people are my core… Laff, Ness, Dick, Nimh, Fluge, Chas and Helene. Last night proved… I’m at my best when I’m with you, your spouses and your families.

Sisters are a pain in the ass, and I don’t know what I would do without mine. Can’t wait to see you both today because “Ah… family. It’s what it’s all about.” Families named Taylor, Zlakowski, O’Hagan, Carr, Macowski, Cohen… sounds like the Eagles offensive line, and they provide protection too. They take care of me.

I have good boys. My oldest, John, has an unbridled enthusiasm for life and he is a fierce friend. He has great work ethic, and I’m so happy about how he is getting down to business and making things happen for himself. Colin is just starting out in his journey, and I know he will embrace his challenges with thought and good humor. He is the funniest person I know, with a smart understated wit and just the right amount of cynicism. Not sure where he gets it, because he has stated on numerous occasions that I’m not funny at all.

I’m proud of them both, every day. My Mom always said to me that “you are judged by the company you keep”. Both of my boys have made great choices there, fostering long and wonderful friendships. I’m an extremely fortunate Dad, because my sons are my friends.

No matter what happens in my day, my week, my life… I can always count on the best welcome when I walk in the door. Stan is the man…

All credit for these “three” boys goes to their Mom, who’s every decision is made with the well-being of her children in mind. I’m continually awed by the work she does with cancer patients everyday. Most amazing is that she puts up with my lunacy and I haven’t been tossed out on my ass… yet. And she makes me coffee. Sometimes…

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Quickly… I’m also thankful for the wonderful craziness of Penn Emblem and ImprintsUSA, the brilliance of Elvis Costello, the hilarity of Kevin Smith and Ralph Garmin, the quirkiness of Sheldon Cooper, the energy of PPL Park, the community of Academy Sabres, the old friends from Bandon Drive, the tradition of Manchester United, the grapes on the Ryan High School vine, and for discovering the many wonders of Cape May.

I live in the City of Brotherly Love, and there is nowhere else I want to be. Everything I need is right here. I’m in a good place, because of all of you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

B-MUSINGS… Cool August Night Edition

“B-Musings”… random blurbiage and ping pong balls rattling around my dome.  Why?  Because I can, and I have a blog!

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Beachin’ It – In a previous post, I mentioned my new found longing to be at the beach. It hasn’t waned. Fortunately I was able to get to the shore a couple of weeks ago and quench that thirst. My friends know that I am not one to stay at the beach for more than an hour… two tops. So the 10 hours over two days I spent sitting on the sand was a revelation. Granted, I was blessed with the right mix of great weather and great company… the perfect storm. It also came at the right time, in what has been a very hectic few months.

I’m going back next week, to plop my ass on that chair again. Can’t wait… I seem to be a poster boy for change lately, and I have to say I’m enjoying it.  Look out, fudgy wudgy man…

Culling the Facebook Herd – I like to go into my social media contacts periodically, and “unfriend” some people and places with whom I no longer interact. Recently I cleaned out a bunch of brands, bands, movies and other assorted “Likes”. Alas, I also jettisoned about 10 people who have thus far failed to enrich my social media experience. But as I was going through the exercise I came to four Facebook friends who are deceased. Obviously I was aware of them in my list, and each had very different levels of friendship for me. It’s nice that friends and family still drop comments on their pages for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.

So… those four will remain. Until I see them again.

The Soccer Supporter Mentality – I spend a decent amount of time explaining this concept to my non-soccer friends, so I thought I would throw it out for some comments. I fully expect Philadelphia Union striker and rising star Jack McInerney to be playing somewhere else next year, and I’m okay with it. If he moves to Europe, he will develop faster and better than in MLS. And that is good for U.S. Soccer, the priority.

Unlike any other sport, the true fan places country over club.  I think it is the best way to go, we support our national team first, then we have favorite domestic and/or overseas club teams… and we are rabid about all of them!!!  For me… USMNT, then Union, then Manchester United. The goal is always to fortify the national squad. Nuff said…

photo1Wedding of the Century – I often call Joe O’Hagan my faux cousin, when in fact he is my oldest and dearest friend. Our Moms were best friends growing up in Belfast, and travelled to America together on the Mayflower (well… that’s what they led us to believe).  So Joe, myself, his and my sisters grew up as cousins. He’s been a swinging bachelor for all these years until the fair Jennifer finally lassoed him to the ground. When I got news of their pending nuptials I expected an epic event, and was not disappointed.

It was a grand day, epic in its tradition and simplicity. I was honored to be asked to do a reading at the traditional Catholic ceremony, and I delivered it with my usual panache. The reception was held at the same classic venue that hosted my Senior Prom 35 years ago, and the place hasn’t changed one bit! The flashback feeling was aided by a great DJ who played Sinatra and other standards during dinner, and pulled out all the classic wedding reception dance hits… “Celebrate good times, come on!!” Joe’s nephew gave what might have been the greatest best man toast ever, and the newly married couple danced to an absolutely perfect song choice – the beautiful “At Last” by Etta James.

It truly was an epic event. All that was missing was a whiskey sour fountain and the garter / bouquet tossing, omitted I assume because of the groom – throwing anything is dangerous at his advanced age. But there were four other things missing… Joe and Marie, and Bunty and James. No doubt they would have been delighted that after a half century we are all still together.  Real family… no faux, mofo.

Good times, good people, good craic.

bemused-instructor

Meet Herb… Official “Face” of the B-Musing Blog Post.  Are you B-Mused now? A-Mused? Both?

Let me know by commenting below… Herb needs to know!!!

Tier Drops

Broken

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you.  You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

There are thousands of songs, poems, stories, TV shows and movies about friendship. Add this blog post to the list if you like… just my thoughts on the subject.

I consider myself to be a good friend. I love all of my peeps. Some more than others and that is only fair. To be honest, I have several tiers of friends… a Friend Pyramid, if you will. You have one, though you may hesitate to admit it. The besties are at the top, followed by good friends, then acquaintances and friends of friends, and so on…  Levels are determined by the amount of intimacy, honesty and/or truth you offer them, and what they return to you. Most days you don’t make clear distinctions, but the levels are always there. I like the pyramid metaphor because of the size… and filling that space is satisfying to me.

Even the strongest friendships are amazingly fragile. In my life, friends have come and gone. And some have moved up and down the pyramid.  I’ve learned that over the years, and was reminded of it during my high school reunion a couple of weeks ago. Most of my top-tier friends were there, and many others. I saw and talked to some great people that weekend. Many, many “Remember the time…?”, and “Do you ever see…?” conversations. And lots of talk about careers and family… great stuff! It’s gratifying to realize that although many years (decades, in some cases) have passed, a very comfortable symmetry is still there. While we have changed so much as individuals, our connection together has not.

Friendships are like that. My best friend today is also my oldest friend, but we spent about ten years estranged from each other. It’s interesting that a person you may have felt so close to back in the day is not at all present now. And it happens faster than that… here today and gone tomorrow.

I recently saw this quote on Facebook… “If someone actually wanted you in their life, they’d actually put some effort into showing it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.” At a glance it made some sense, but further reading gave me pause. Yes, I do expect the same love that I am so happy to give. That will determine your position in my heart. But there is no need reserve a space there… it’s a big place. I always have vacancies.

Like a pyramid. It’s friggin’ huge!

“Broken Glass” photo courtesy of Hermin Abramovitc.  Find his work at http://ahermin.deviantart.com/.