“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley
There are thousands of songs, poems, stories, TV shows and movies about friendship. Add this blog post to the list if you like… just my thoughts on the subject.
I consider myself to be a good friend. I love all of my peeps. Some more than others and that is only fair. To be honest, I have several tiers of friends… a Friend Pyramid, if you will. You have one, though you may hesitate to admit it. The besties are at the top, followed by good friends, then acquaintances and friends of friends, and so on… Levels are determined by the amount of intimacy, honesty and/or truth you offer them, and what they return to you. Most days you don’t make clear distinctions, but the levels are always there. I like the pyramid metaphor because of the size… and filling that space is satisfying to me.
Even the strongest friendships are amazingly fragile. In my life, friends have come and gone. And some have moved up and down the pyramid. I’ve learned that over the years, and was reminded of it during my high school reunion a couple of weeks ago. Most of my top-tier friends were there, and many others. I saw and talked to some great people that weekend. Many, many “Remember the time…?”, and “Do you ever see…?” conversations. And lots of talk about careers and family… great stuff! It’s gratifying to realize that although many years (decades, in some cases) have passed, a very comfortable symmetry is still there. While we have changed so much as individuals, our connection together has not.
Friendships are like that. My best friend today is also my oldest friend, but we spent about ten years estranged from each other. It’s interesting that a person you may have felt so close to back in the day is not at all present now. And it happens faster than that… here today and gone tomorrow.
I recently saw this quote on Facebook… “If someone actually wanted you in their life, they’d actually put some effort into showing it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.” At a glance it made some sense, but further reading gave me pause. Yes, I do expect the same love that I am so happy to give. That will determine your position in my heart. But there is no need reserve a space there… it’s a big place. I always have vacancies.
Like a pyramid. It’s friggin’ huge!
“Broken Glass” photo courtesy of Hermin Abramovitc. Find his work at http://ahermin.deviantart.com/.