“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” ~ Lewis Black
I consider myself to be a nouveau coffee drinker. I’m not sure there is such a classification, but as I’ve only been drinking this sweet elixir for about nine years I think it is appropriate.
Growing up in a house with a Mother and Aunt direct from Ireland made me a tea drinker. (Not a teetotaler… maybe that’s a subject for future blog post?) There are strict rules about making tea. We only used Tetley tea bags, you filled the mug to the very top, and you had to boil the water for a good five minutes after the whistle started wailing. Milk, not cream. Sugar, not honey… or artificial sweetener – GOD FORBID!! Everyone in our house was close friends with a “good cup a’tay”!
Every once in a while my Mom would have a Folger’s Instant coffee. Knowing nothing about coffee even I could see this was nasty, but it was easy to make and smelled good. As I got older, my friends started drinking coffee regularly and I steadfastly remained loyal to my tea. The coffee clouds really started storming around me when I started business travelling. Everyone I met was a coffee freak. People really seemed to be enjoying this experience, and I really liked the aroma of coffee in the morning. I started to think I was missing out on something.
One day I decided, I was going be hip and drink coffee. I set out on this task at a hotel restaurant in some god-forsaken town, and immediately applied all of my vast tea-making experience – milk, and one spoonful of sugar. How hard can this be? This was it! I’m going to be a coffee drinker.
“A vile concoction!! Why the hell do you people drink this poison?!”, I screamed to the world.
But I was not deterred. Over the next few months I asked questions and experimented. I discovered that there were endless variations, brands and preparations. But me being me, I ended up with the simplest of combinations – black with Equal. Or, as we “coffee people” call it – the yellow stuff. And I drink only one cup a day, over a few hours. I get great exercise walking back and forth to the microwave…
I like to say that I’m a simple man, delighting in the small things in life. I will continue to snort derisively at the Starbuck’s snobs ordering “venti, one pump caramel, one pump white mocha, two scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino with two shots poured over the top – apagotto style – with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream, double cupped!” I don’t know what I just typed! I’ll always make fun because I seriously doubt I will ever make coffee drinking that complicated.
But you never know. While in France last year I discovered the wonder of espresso, and now I regularly drink caramel flavored coffee at work.
Yep… I’m a bad ass. Who wants to join this wild man for a Cup of Joe?!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEVTQHiAQRA?rel=0]
Could hear your mother’s voice saying “cup a’tay”…. sigh….
Tea was created almost five thousand years ago by the Chinese. Legend has it that an emperor named Shen Nung was in the courtyard of his palace drinking a glass of warm water, when a windblown leaf fell into the cup. It was a few moments, and then, surprised at the color the water was experienced. To his surprise, found tasty. Since then, this practice has spread and never ceased to be used.